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Miscarriage mums told ‘it wasn’t a real baby’

MOST women who suffer miscarriages are made more upset when friends try to lift their spirits, a survey has revealed.

Thoughtless and unintentionally cruel phrases such as ‘it wasn’t a real baby’ and ‘it’s nature’s way’ have left more than three-quarters of those who have lost a baby feeling anything but comforted.

More than half (57 per cent) of the women questioned said friends suggested the miscarriage meant there was something wrong with their baby, while 29 per cent had been told it wasn’t so bad because they already had another child.

Siobhan Freegard of parenting site ChannelMum.com, which carried out the poll, said: ‘The majority of women suffer at least one miscarriage and many have several, so why is it still so hard to talk about openly? We talk about “losing a child” but the parents will always keep the pain of that loss with them — and many need to talk about it to help heal.’

One in six UK pregnancies ends in miscarriage — 250,000 a year. Some 76 per cent of women affected think there is not enough support available for couples suffering the heartbreak, the poll shows.